July is a bittersweet month for me. Thirty-six years ago, Sugar Bear and I met at a dive bar on Pensacola Beach. He was a Midshipman at the Naval Academy, and I was home from college. It was a fun night and one I will never forget. Fifteen years ago this month, we lost him! Both events drastically changed my life. The first was obviously for the better… we got married, had our beautiful children, made incredible friends (including our Board and Team, whom I consider family and am so grateful), and had many adventures. I would not change any of it! But losing him, although awful, also had a profound impact on me and our children. The friends we made through the Marine Corps and military are still by our side, and many new ones have joined this circle. I am much stronger today and now have greater insight into his desire to serve. I get it! I know without a doubt he continues to watch over and take care of us. I have so many signs and see so much of Sugar Bear in our children. Their mannerisms, drive, humor (his sarcasm lives on), intelligence, interests, and they share his love of learning as they are both pursuing advanced degrees. I consider it another blessing that he had this time with them to instill such traits. Sugar Bear would be incredibly proud of them. As a widow who was terrified about rearing a nine and almost seven-year-old after that horrifying knock at the door, I now feel an incredible sense of relief as I can safely say we have made it to the other side. His love and strength (along with a great deal of support from many) have carried us through and provided for us when life seemed very bleak.
It is still hard, and we miss him dearly (and always will), but nine years ago I received a gift to form the Sugar Bear Foundation, and that too changed the trajectory of not only my life, but my hope is that of the families we serve. At the time, I was so focused on helping my fellow Surviving Spouses and their children, just as the kids and I had received an outpouring of support. Although this is, and always will be, one of the primary goals, I had no idea in those early years of the SBF that it was helping me heal, providing a platform to continue Sugar Bear’s legacy of service, and creating programs that can and have helped others move forward in life. For me, that brings such joy and hope. It has even strengthened the bond that Sugar Bear and I have, and my ties within the military community. Our children have seen and felt it, and it has helped in their healing. They, too, are more resilient and have a greater sense of gratitude. All of which would make Sugar Bear happy.
We have several updates to share, and I hope you will take the time to read those, as well as two important fundraisers (Sugar Bear’s Virtual Memorial Run and the Raising Cane’s Fundraiser in Chapel Hill, NC). If possible, I ask that you take part, even share them with your friends, professional networks, and community, or donate. As a nonprofit, we are always asking for support. It’s what we do and need. However, this month is extra special for us, and I hope my ask will help you remember Sugar Bear, me (our family’s story), or the hundreds of families across the country we are now assisting and their heroes. Their lives have forever changed, and we are on a mission to extend to them all of the love and support that my two children and I received sixteen years ago. I would be most grateful, and I know without a doubt Sugar Bear would be too.
As always, I hope you will reach out if you want to help support, share our mission, or fundraise for us.
Thank you,
Jennifer Carazo
Gold Star Wife/ President
